Dear Tea Party. It Was Fun, But...

Dear Tea Party,

I don't know how to say this, but I don't think I can continue our relationship at this point in my life. I wanted to tell you in person, but didn't have the courage to attend your caucus, so I have to say goodbye here.

It isn't you. Heck, you supported me when no one else thought I would amount to anything. Back when Senate Republicans were ignoring me, you held me up, and kept alive a campaign which by all convention accounts had no right to exist. Even when everybody seemed to like Charlie Crist more than me, you saw something special in me. Someone who wouldn't "listen to all sides," but would run on the right and against any and everything the Obama White House ever proposed.

And boy did we run. We had some great times: driving Crist from the party, comparing Obama's policies to Communist Cuba, and of course, winning the election.

But right now, I need a little 'Me' time. I just got to Washington, and it turns out you guys aren't nearly as popular in the beltway as you were on the campaign trail. In fact, people here think you are a little weird and scary. I need to make new friends now, and frankly, having you guys hanging around all the time is kind of bringing me down.

Let's not pretend things have been perfect. You really put me on the spot about that whole Arizona law. My folks still think that was really uncool, by the way. It has been obvious since November that this wasn't going to work out. I can't govern as an extremist. I'm a Senator now, and that means I have to work with people on both sides of the aisle. And I run statewide in a purple state. The whole tea party mantel may have worked in a wave year, but I have a future to think about. Does anyone really think people will care about a tea party caucus in 2016?

So like Fergie would say, I've got to get a move on with my life. I've got to be a big Senator now, and big Senators don't cry. But I hope we can still be friends, especially if someone asks me to run for vice president in two years. I don't want things to be too strange when we run into each other at political party events. And even though I know I am hurting you now, and have only been in office less than a month, I hope this doesn't discourage you from sending me checks.

With love and respect (but from a safe political distance), I tell you goodbye.

Sen. Marco Rubio,
The Distinguished Gentleman from Florida